Karysma (karysma) wrote,

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Facing my mortality...

Wow.. I'm in a chatty mood today!

I have been thinking a lot lately about the fragility of life as we know it...  This is a topic that has really hit home since working in the ICU.  I see people come in day after day who were fine when they woke up that morning, and by the time they see us their lives have been forever changed.  

This week in particular I have been working with this middle aged woman who was out for a walk.  She was a regular exerciser and a relative health nut.  She was in a freak accident in which she, as a pedestrian, was hit by a bicycle.  This resulted in a closed head injury which has left her without speech, barely moving and with questionable awareness.  I can't say if she will recover, or how long it will take if she does.  I don't know if she will come out of this with a physical or mental handicap.  All I can say is that she sure didn't think that was going to happen when she went out for a walk!  It is so difficult to watch the families coming to terms with the reality of these situations...  None of them will ever be the same again.  The thing I think that gets me sometimes is that it could happen to any of us at anywhere... anytime.

I know that I have become much more paranoid since working in the unit.  I periodically check T to make sure she is breathing at night.. and if I can't get a hold of her on the phone I get a bit panicky.  I suppose that in our case it would not only be tragic if something happened to one of us... but doubly so since we have not done any of the Power of Attorney paperwork.  I know, I know.. bad us.  It's just such an expensive process to get it all done.  Anywho.. that's a bit off topic.

One of the other things that really sticks in my mind is the possibility of something happening to one of my family members while I am stuck so far away.  I know this is a decision I made, but I would hate to be stuck thinking that I hadn't seen them in a long time.. and never would again.  These things happen every day.  

Ok.  Even this topic is too depressing for me.  Gonna have to revisit it again sometime in the future... lol

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