Karysma (karysma) wrote,

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Early in the morning...

So I have been awake since 4:30am, and up since 5:30am.  I am really starting to think that I might be developing an anxiety disorder!  I woke up and immediately started thinking about finances, furniture, home organization.. and ironically my wedding!  

How odd is that.  It just doesn't make sense that I am still thinking about that.  I realized before we got married that it was going to be very small, and because I was putting it together - probably fairly disorganized!  I feel bad that it was so cramped, that it was so late, that it was indoors, that it had impersonal vows, that I only wore a sundress (and didn't look that good in it), that there were not a lot of pictures of the ceremony (though quite a lot considering that it took less that 10 minutes!)... then at the reception that I didn't get a picture of the buffet table, that it didn't start on time, that I got upset over mom not getting there, that the drinks went missing, that I forgot to tell everyone that the hall we got at the last minute was alcohol-less after telling them BYOB, that the kids were relegated to the closet, that I made sucky speeches, that I didn't get to spend more time with my friends... then that I didn't get my thank you cards out sooner... Arrrgh!  I suppose that it might be normal to have some regrets, but I would venture that its not normal to be stressing about them 6 months after it has happened and is over with.


It's no wonder I can't sleep.  Maybe I should take up yoga... or meditation or something.

Or, maybe by writing it down here I will somehow vent it and be able to let it go.

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