August 10th, 2006

I just can't hang anymore...

I have had to face some harsh realities lately.  I am getting old.... and apparently I have the immune system of a ninety year old!  I can't believe I am still sick.  I have this hacking cough now... and I am still stuffed up.  I medicated myself with 3 different kinds of cold medication just to make it through work last night... just for the joy of having to wear a mask for all patient care *not easy to breathe in*.  I feel like poop.  I am tired and achy, and I just don't wanna take one more step!  So I think I will just sleep in this chair today!

Yeah right... I love my bed...  :P

I have decided to nix my Ottawa trip this weekend.  I hated to do it, but I just don't think I can feasibly get there and be well enough to enjoy the few hours I would have... if I were still conscious!  I also fear taking this killer cold into a house full of children!  

So, I think T and I will just head to the cottage and chill once we get there.  Maybe with some rest I can kick this damn cold.  But first I have to contemplate packing.  I really hate packing.  Does anyone wanna come and pack for me??  :D
  • Current Mood
    sore under the weather... con't

Shower Soothers

Ok..  so I decided to go wash my self pity off in a nice steamy shower.  Naturally I had just the 'self indulging' assist item ready for the occasion!  Thanks to the temptation shelves they put next to the check out at Wal Mart, of course.  Shower Soothers by SudaCare!!!  They are these little disks that you put in the bottom of your shower and they release some sort of smell to soothe the ragged nerve.  Anyways they are completely useless from a medical point of view (I originally thought that they would be like a vapor mist decongestant... the packaging was VERY misleading!), but they do have this curious scent.  I sat there ... well stood... and thought...  Where have I smelled that smell before?  I couldn't place it.  The package says it 'releases soothing eucalyptus, menthol & camphor vapors', but I am not sure what the eucalyptus or camphor smell like, and it certainly wasn't menthol.  It finally came to me.  It smells like old lady!  I think my granny used to have something that smelled like that when I was young.  I will have to see if I can figure out what it was... its irritating the heck out of me now.

The good thing is though that it has derailed the 'pitty me' train for a short while though... lol.  Have you ever noticed that nurses really do make the worst patients??  

Wee!!  I smell like old lady!!  lol
  • Current Mood
    sore yeah yeah yeah... still sick..

Facing my mortality...

Wow.. I'm in a chatty mood today!

I have been thinking a lot lately about the fragility of life as we know it...  This is a topic that has really hit home since working in the ICU.  I see people come in day after day who were fine when they woke up that morning, and by the time they see us their lives have been forever changed.  

This week in particular I have been working with this middle aged woman who was out for a walk.  She was a regular exerciser and a relative health nut.  She was in a freak accident in which she, as a pedestrian, was hit by a bicycle.  This resulted in a closed head injury which has left her without speech, barely moving and with questionable awareness.  I can't say if she will recover, or how long it will take if she does.  I don't know if she will come out of this with a physical or mental handicap.  All I can say is that she sure didn't think that was going to happen when she went out for a walk!  It is so difficult to watch the families coming to terms with the reality of these situations...  None of them will ever be the same again.  The thing I think that gets me sometimes is that it could happen to any of us at anywhere... anytime.

I know that I have become much more paranoid since working in the unit.  I periodically check T to make sure she is breathing at night.. and if I can't get a hold of her on the phone I get a bit panicky.  I suppose that in our case it would not only be tragic if something happened to one of us... but doubly so since we have not done any of the Power of Attorney paperwork.  I know, I know.. bad us.  It's just such an expensive process to get it all done.  Anywho.. that's a bit off topic.

One of the other things that really sticks in my mind is the possibility of something happening to one of my family members while I am stuck so far away.  I know this is a decision I made, but I would hate to be stuck thinking that I hadn't seen them in a long time.. and never would again.  These things happen every day.  

Ok.  Even this topic is too depressing for me.  Gonna have to revisit it again sometime in the future... lol
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative... and sniffley!