May 7th, 2019

To who I thought was the one...

Maybe one day I will forget the day I met you.

Maybe one day I will forget every 'I love you', every 'I miss you', and every 'good night'.

Maybe I will forget the way that you called me what you called her...

.. but maybe I won't... 

.. and our long nights on the phone will be nothing but a void, in your skeleton of memories.

Maybe just because you say you will marry someone and promise them the world does not mean anything when you can't even bridge the distance between Orlando and Miami.

But just because you say: 'Babe, she doesn't matter'... doesn't mean that she's not on your mind.

.. and don't call me crazy because we were once them... and don't call me lazy because I dare not put myself through the misery of fighting for first place.

And now every 'I love you' will be part of a backseat conversation and you'll be buried in the trunk of my car where we looked at the stars and basically said our 'I do's'.

And now what was once a fairytale story is a story that we mourn... because our love died in my arms.  Refusing to let go I gave us CPR...  refusing to accept the death of our future.  I tried so hard but who's grave do I go visit when I miss you...  because you're not really dead you just left without warning.

.. because after you said 'I'll marry you one day' you said 'I need time to think'.

How the hell does someone go from making children with each other to I hope you have a good life.

But I do... I hope you have a good life.  

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