contemplativeIt is always a shock when something like this hits so near to home. Someone who is essentially 'well'.. and the next day life is changed forever. You would think that in my line of work that I would get used to it, but for some reason it just always seems so amazing. I would actually say that I have gotten more neurotic since transferring to the ICU. Now I know how often it is that someone experiences an unexpected episode that leaves them either dead, vegetated or in some way altered permanently.
I would have to say that my biggest fear in this area is of T dying... closely followed by my parents. I check T to see if she is breathing more frequently than I care to admit. I just wish she was a louder sleeper!! ; ) I feel very guilty about not getting home to visit my parents more often. My dad is just about the age that my grandfather was when he died of a heart attack. I keep telling myself that I can't afford to make the trip home, and that once I get on top of my finances then I will be able to visit more often and perhaps get a vacation place closer to home.
One always thinks that they will have time later though. I just hope I don't leave it too late.
